Honest Parenting
I spent an amazing ten days in Vietnam sharing and telling
stories of parenting. I was very excited to share my Family Legacy training and
how the culture of the family is transmitted from generation to generation. I
shared how parents can create and affirm the family’s values. I taught on Love
and Reconciliation, where parents reconcile their children by affirming their
family values. I always enjoy my time in Vietnam and consider Vietnam my second
home.
I had missed my family during my time in Vietnam. I was very
excited to finally be home! I have to be honest. I thought that I was going to
receive a very warm and happy welcome back. As soon as I got home, my children
were unruly and my wife Jodi was very anxious and on edge. Jodi was very
overwhelmed and said that she was struggling with getting the boys to respect
each other and to follow simple instructions.
It should be said that both parents add great value to
parenting. Parenting should always be cooperative. In my absence, Jodi
experienced some emotional stress, as well as our boys. Presence in a child’s
life is very important. Simply being present can bring stability and peace. It's not often when I'm away from home. I spend a lot of time with my family and we make the most of our time with each other. We eat at least 3 evening meals together each week. Since I work less hours, it's become 5 regular meals a week. Eating a a family together is so important! Put down the cell phones and e-tablets. Spend time talking to one another. Presence is also about engagement.
Even after obtaining my master’s degree in social work, and
even after working with families for over 15 years. I still don’t have it all
figured out and I have my own personal struggles with parenting. Please, hear
me clearly. It will be fine. Your children don’t need an expert, they need you.
They need you to be there, to love them, to give them boundaries. They also need
to see you make mistakes and reconcile those mistakes. Your children need to see you
as a loving and caring human being.
If your children can feel your love, they can handle your
mistakes. If you acted out of anger and took it out on your child, tell them
you are sorry. Let them know it’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s not okay to
ignore them. This is honest parenting. Honestly, we are all going to lose our
tempter, overreact, and do something we will regret. That’s what it means to be
human. Humans make mistakes. Grace and forgiveness are amazing tools to rectify
our shortcomings. It reconciles us to that place of peace, those moments before
chaos ensued.
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What are some parenting issues you struggle
with?
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Have you ever lost your temper and done
something you regretted?
o
Did you try to reconcile the mistake you made?
o
How did it work out for you?
Share your thoughts about trying to parent honestly to
yourself and to your family.
